I had lunch with a friend today. As we caught up, she told me of her successes - a nice day with her hubby, a school solution for her troubled teenager, and managing her work load.
She looked fantastic - very relaxed - and her manner supported it. Her life is not that different than a few weeks ago, when she was stressed, but now she is relaxed, confident and positive.
She says it came from letting go - from finding a long-term solution to a chronic problem, to not taking on every project at work, and making clear boundaries with those projects she does take on, to honoring her body by making time to run and eat well.
It's easy to take on too much, and to take responsibility for too much. Because she can do it easily, she takes on every project offered. Because her son is dear to her, she takes on his happiness an her own. She has been trying to arrange, fix, or do everything for everybody. Typical woman, typical mother.
But what made her analysis so interesting is that she recognized her own part in it. She admitted the incredible ego stroking you get from being the centre of everything; indispensable, irreplaceable, and how hard that is to let go of.
And that when you do let go, there is so much freedom - more time, more energy for oneself and other relationships, and emotional lightening.
It takes a lot of trust to be able to let the world include you without needing to do so. Or trusting that you will always be wanted, even if you're not needed. That they will need you for your love, not because you know where the socks are.
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